Angelina Jolie sits across from Solid Snake in a dimly lit, smoke-filled bar, the kind of place where shadows cling to the corners and secrets come cheap but cost dearly. Snake, ever the skeptic, lights a cigar and narrows his eye.
“You ever hear of Gone in 60 Seconds, Snake?” Jolie asks, swirling a whiskey glass between her fingers.
“Hmph. A car flick, right? Boosting rides?” Snake grumbles.
“Yeah. I played Sara ‘Sway’ Wayland—bad girl with a soft spot for Nic Cage’s Memphis Raines.” She smirks. “It was fun, all adrenaline and leather. But the real trip was Giovanni Ribisi.”
Snake exhales a cloud of smoke. “That kid? What about him?”
Jolie leans in. “He was deep into Scientology back then. You know, L. Ron Hubbard, Thetans, auditing—real Mission: Impossible stuff.”
Snake snorts. “I’ve seen my share of cults. FOXHOUND wasn’t too different.”
“Yeah? Well, Ribisi tried to bring me into the fold,” Jolie says, eyes flashing. “One day between takes, he starts talking about how Scientology can ‘clear’ me. Free me from past trauma, make me ‘Operating Thetan.’”
Snake scoffs. “And you didn’t buy it.”
“I laughed it off at first,” Jolie admits, “but he was serious. Talked about how the church saved him, how he owed everything to it. Told me I had the potential to be someone great in their world. That freaked me out.”
Snake grunts. “Sounds like a psyop.”
Jolie nods. “Maybe. I told him I wasn’t interested, but he got… weird. Not pushy, but just—off. Like he knew something about me that I didn’t.”
Snake takes a drag of his cigar. “Did you ever find out what he meant?”
She shakes her head. “Nah. But I swear, after that, I started noticing Scientologists around me more. Even some of my assistants were asked if I’d be ‘open to learning more.’ It felt like they were watching me.”
Snake exhales, grinding his cigar into an ashtray. “That’s how they work. Keep you close, test your limits, see what makes you tick.”
Jolie smiles. “Sounds like you know a thing or two about manipulation.”
Snake leans back, a grim smile on his lips. “Let’s just say I’ve been on both sides of the game. You got out clean, though. Not everyone does.”
Jolie lifts her glass in a mock toast. “Yeah. I kept my head on straight. But sometimes, I wonder what would’ve happened if I’d played along. You ever wonder about the choices you didn’t make?”
Snake looks past her, lost in memories of war, betrayals, and ghosts of missions past. He mutters, almost to himself, “Every damn day.”